The truth
by cshizzle10
Summary: Ever wonder what really happened that night at godricks hollow and why voldemort wants to kill harry. you heard dumbledore's side now hears the truth rated t for a lot of swearing
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: just so you know I don't own Harry potter or any of the Potter characters

Some of you might know me as the evil lord voldemort but its all not rue let me tell you what really happened I was flying my shooting star to Goddrick's Hollow to collect my money from the cheatin' bitch James Potter. Ya see last week I had my weekly poker game with Remus, Sirus, Snape, and Dumbledore. It was like any other game Dumbledore was drunk as hell, Sirus and Remus were playing footsies but kept on touching me... oh well so on with the story.

I caught James cheating with a card in his sleeve.

So I yelled, "you motherfucker you're cheating."

So he was all, "What the hell I ain't cheating."

"You bastard I bet your son's gonna be a cheater too. "

"OH! SO NOW YOU GONNA KILL MY SON!"

"DUDE, I NEVER SAID THAT! NOW YOU JUST TRIPIN'!"

Soon after that he spread a rumor about me and my homeboys, Da Death Eaters, that we was gonna go kill that bitch ass son of his Harry Potter.

So let's get back to the present. I walk up and I rang doorbell I heard "Lilly take Harry upstairs, it's the damn Voldermort." Now I was pissed so I kicked down that motherfucker's door.

He was so frickin scared he had a heart attack so I went upstairs to go tell Lilly so she started screaming," Not Harry, Not Harry, Please not Harry!"

"What do you think I am an evil villain", I laughed, "stand aside I'm outta here". But that bitch was crazy! And kept on screaming, "Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead."

I don't know why but seeing Lilly like that made me laugh out loud. I mean it was funny! And when something's real funny my laugh gets a lil shrill… but in a manly way. She took it evilly… and screamed. And had a seizure which consequently made her fall out of the two story window. Some of the shattered glass fell and cut Harry's head into a weird sorta lightning bolt way I tried to heal him but he was playin with his late mom's wand and you'll never guess what that little bitch said "ga ga avada kadavra" and it killed me.

So now you see what really happened and that is why I try to kill that son of a bitch Harry potter every year. So you see there was no prophecy just some damn poker game. Oh god my life sucks.


	2. the truth about the sorceror's stone

Disclaimer: yeah, yeah I know I don't own Harry potter, I mean if I did why would I waste my damn time on this fan site I'd be rich.

The truth part two

You so I was like chilling, with that whiny ass Quirell, in the room with Dumbledore's magic mirror.

"I'm not sure about this master.." said Quirell.

I was so pissed I was all like, "SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BITCH"

Then suddenly the lil prat harry potter came in strutting wit his big glasses what not, trying to act like he was all gangsta. Man that little git pisses me off! So the little boy was so scared he started talking about all this crap about snape of something.

So I be all like, "yo go ask da boy where dat stone be."

I had one of those sinus colds that week, so my voice was all raspy, and creepy. So he told all this crap about getting the cleanest cup for his house or something. But I saw that lil bitch wink in the mirror and get that stone.

Now I wasn't about lose the chance to get my body back so I decided to make a lil deal with this punk.

"Yo Harry, me and you can bring your mum and dad back, just hand over da stone."

Now I was being honest I missed James (even if he was a cheatin lil punk ass bitch) and Lilly. But he thought I was foolin' wit his head and called me a liar. Now I don't why he thought I was lyin, the kid must have been high. Qureill knew if he didn't get the stone for me he wouldn't get paid. So he snapped his fingers and fire went all around data little stadium. Then he attacked the little punk and his skin started burning I told that bitch to put on sunscreen if he was going to start a fire. When his body was destroyed, dawg I was crying, "Oh shit, damn you potter I'm so fucked up now. And cause I was blinded from my tears I went through Harry on accident, just as Dumbledore came that little faker fainted. So it's seem like I was the bad guy then Dumbledore tried to shoot me with his lil fancy new pistol he been bragging about all week(trying to score some bitches what a shithole he better not touch my woman Hermione, hey age don't matter) . Dumbledore was probably drunk again, that's why he shot, and then he couldn't remember a word so he took Harry's side of the story. Man someday I'm gonna get that lil bitch


End file.
